Sunday, April 11, 2010

Here is a complete waste of time

Quick, move on.

Why are you wasting your time reading this? Are you just so curious you need to? Haven't you got anything better to do? Please, stop reading. I'm begging you. There is no punchline, there is no ending. This, just like your life, is a pointless, protracted pile of drivel. Look at you. Just reading one boring sentence after another, all the while your life slips away. Sands through the hourglass, and you just keep on reading. I cannot believe you are still reading this. I told you there is nothing here. Nothing. By continuing to read this you are voluntarily surrendering seconds of the short time you have on Earth for nothing. Time is precious -- and here you go, frittering it away, reading on hopefully, anticipating some small shred of value, some lesson to take away. I wish there were, even an shred of value here for your investment of time. There isn't. No pot of gold, no lesson, no nothing.
Now it has to be faith, some blind faith in one man's respect for another telling you that this isn't a futile journey, but that faith is poorly held. You have no reason to keep reading. Yet here you are, trudging through sentence after sentence, grasping for meaning. Your lips are moving as you sound out the words. Those of you that are still reading are dim, stubborn souls.
This is chapter one of a million chapter book of you wasting your life. Weeee! Behold the reader! Staring numbly at a computer screen. What the hell else is going on in your life where you have enough time to pour into reading nonsensical internet diatribes? The entire canon of literature lies dormant, just waiting to enrich your life, but not you, you're on the internet. Weeee! Here come more words! I'm really glad you've made it this far, give yourself a gold star in futility. Waiting for a point. Wading through print. Maybe you feel up to the challenge of reading this through. Let me dispel you of that misapprehension. It isn't challenging to read this. It is challenging to improve yourself, that's not happening here. If you feel like there is a lesson in all this, there isn't. You've wasted time, and with each word you're shoveling more of your life into the past. But, hey you were warned. You can't say you weren't warned.

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